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  • Writer's pictureThe Holistic Motivator

Hurt People Hurt People: The Cycle of Pain and Healing






Have you ever found yourself hurting others because you were hurting? Maybe you lashed out at someone you love because you were feeling overwhelmed or resentful. Perhaps you pushed people away because you didn't want to burden them with your problems. Whatever the case, it's not uncommon for hurt people to hurt people.


The Cycle of Pain and Hurt: Why Hurt People Hurt People

This cycle of pain and hurt is a vicious one. When we're hurting, we often become self-absorbed and tunnel-visioned, focusing solely on our own pain and neglecting the feelings of those around us. This can lead us to act in ways that are hurtful and destructive, causing even more pain for ourselves and others.


But why do hurt people hurt people? The answer lies in our own unhealed wounds. When we're hurting, we're often carrying around unresolved pain from our past. We may have experienced trauma, abuse, neglect, or other forms of emotional pain that we haven't fully processed or healed from.


This unhealed pain can manifest in a number of ways. We may become overly sensitive or defensive, lashing out at others when they trigger our pain. We may become avoidant or distant, shutting down emotionally and pushing people away. We may become self-destructive, engaging in harmful behaviors that only perpetuate our pain.

The problem is that these behaviors become second nature to us. We may not even realize that we're hurting others because it feels like the only way to cope with our own pain. We may also be blind to the fact that our behaviors are a reflection of our own unhealed wounds.


This is why healing is so important. What is not healed will continue to inflict many scars, not only on ourselves but on those around us. When we take the time to heal our own wounds, we break the cycle of pain and hurt. We become more self-aware and able to recognize when our behaviors are hurting others. We also become more compassionate and understanding, able to offer support and comfort to those around us who are struggling.


Building Healthy, Fulfilling Relationships Through Healing and Compassion

Healing is not easy, and it's not a one-size-fits-all process. It may involve therapy, self-reflection, meditation, or other forms of self-care. It may also involve confronting our own pain and trauma, which can be incredibly difficult and painful. But the rewards of healing are immense. When we heal, we become more whole, more resilient, and more capable of building healthy, fulfilling relationships.


If you've hurt people because you were hurting, know that you're not alone. But also know that healing is possible. It's never too late to start the journey of healing and breaking the cycle of pain and hurt. The road may be long and challenging, but the destination is worth it.

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Sylvia Osterreicher
Sylvia Osterreicher
07 oct. 2023

Hi Ed, i love that you love God and the conviction you have to wards Our Father. you have inspired me again as i lost it some time back about myself, so Thank you as God lead me to your posts. And Thank you for Gloryfiying the Lord God of All living beings. i hope that you do not find this offensive about what i about to write but, the heading of this blog is hurt people hurt people, and as i amy agree with you to a certain point,not all go on to hurting people or children. Teh reason i say this is becasue i was used as a sex child and SRA for ten and a half years…

J'aime
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