Hurt People Hurt People: The Cycle of Pain and Healing

Have you ever found yourself hurting others because you were hurting? Maybe you lashed out at someone you love because you were feeling overwhelmed or resentful. Perhaps you pushed people away because you didn't want to burden them with your problems. Whatever the case, it's not uncommon for hurt people to hurt people.

The Cycle of Pain and Hurt: Why Hurt People Hurt People

This cycle of pain and hurt is a vicious one. When we're hurting, we often become self-absorbed and tunnel-visioned, focusing solely on our own pain and neglecting the feelings of those around us. This can lead us to act in ways that are hurtful and destructive, causing even more pain for ourselves and others.

But why do hurt people hurt people? The answer lies in our own unhealed wounds. When we're hurting, we're often carrying around unresolved pain from our past. We may have experienced trauma, abuse, neglect, or other forms of emotional pain that we haven't fully processed or healed from.

This unhealed pain can manifest in a number of ways. We may become overly sensitive or defensive, lashing out at others when they trigger our pain. We may become avoidant or distant, shutting down emotionally and pushing people away. We may become self-destructive, engaging in harmful behaviors that only perpetuate our pain.

The problem is that these behaviors become second nature to us. We may not even realize that we're hurting others because it feels like the only way to cope with our own pain. We may also be blind to the fact that our behaviors are a reflection of our own unhealed wounds.

This is why healing is so important. What is not healed will continue to inflict many scars, not only on ourselves but on those around us. When we take the time to heal our own wounds, we break the cycle of pain and hurt. We become more self-aware and able to recognize when our behaviors are hurting others. We also become more compassionate and understanding, able to offer support and comfort to those around us who are struggling.

Building Healthy, Fulfilling Relationships Through Healing and Compassion

Healing is not easy, and it's not a one-size-fits-all process. It may involve therapy, self-reflection, meditation, or other forms of self-care. It may also involve confronting our own pain and trauma, which can be incredibly difficult and painful. But the rewards of healing are immense. When we heal, we become more whole, more resilient, and more capable of building healthy, fulfilling relationships.

If you've hurt people because you were hurting, know that you're not alone. But also know that healing is possible. It's never too late to start the journey of healing and breaking the cycle of pain and hurt. The road may be long and challenging, but the destination is worth it.

Trust God's Vision for Your Life | Don't expect others to believe in you.

When you start sharing God's vision for your life with other people, they will question your sanity. A lot of people can only walk by sight and not by faith so it's hard to convince them of your faith. Your faith is between you and God and if you leave it at that and trust the vision God placed in your soul, it will work out for you.

You don't have to know exactly how it is going to work out but TRUST that GOD WILL SHOW YOU. Abram didn't know, Noah didn't know but both of them had unwavering faith. People thought they both were crazy but look at how God blessed them. God will bless you the same way, just KEEP the faith!

Genesis 12:1-3

The LORD had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.”

Genesis 6:7

7 When everything was ready, the Lord said to Noah, “Go into the boat with all your family, for among all the people of the earth, I can see that you alone are righteous.

When God tells you to do something, do not question God or how you will be able to do it because God will not give you any responsibility that you cannot carry out.

The mission and vision in your heart has been placed there by God and he has also placed the gifts in you to carry our his will. Trust that you have been prequalified to carry out the tasks made know to you in the dark. Have faith even when others doubt you and it will come to light.

If you would like to explore this some more, I recommend you take some time to listen to a recent episode I made on Surrendering to God’s Plan and having faith along your journey !

Self-care is listening to yourself first, then taking care of yourself.

Self-care is listening to yourself first, then taking care of yourself.

“You can’t take care of someone you don’t listen to. Self-care is listening to yourself first, then taking care of yourself.”

Imagine if you were placed in charge of a child and you had to look after them to ensure their well-being. Let’s say the child was in physical danger and screamed out “Help, I am stuck!” Would you completely ignore them or would you try to do something?

If your answer is to ignore them, you shouldn’t be taking care of a child. If your answer is to listen and do something, then, we will say that you are a logical and good human being.

If you can do this for a child, why not do the same thing for yourself?

Self-Talk and Self-Knowledge

Self-Talk is the act or practice of talking to oneself, either aloud or silently. It serves as a verbal input for programming of the mind which results in life output. Henceforth, what you get out of life is the result of you put into your mind through the senses and your self-talk.

It is often done in a destructive way rather than a positive way. We often say things to ourselves when we serve as a conscientious judge and jury.

How much do you listen to yourself? I’m not asking how much you talk to yourself but how much do you listen?

Listening comes in many forms: listening to your thoughts, listening to your heart, and listening to your gut. Your thoughts reflect your current state of mind, which means undirected thoughts can’t always be trusted.

Listening to Your Thoughts

Thoughts must be intentionally directed or effortlessly suppressed to match your life’s direction or else it’ll lead you based on its own conclusion. So listening to your mind allows hearing the story going on and intervene to change that story to match what you want.

Listening to Your Heart

We listen to our hearts when we make decisions with little facts but a high level of certainty that you made the right choice. Heart decisions are intuitive decisions pumped out by the mystic forces of the universe. We should make the most important life decisions with our heart.

Listening to The Gut

Gut decisions are decisions the mind passes on to the gut for a second layer of approval. The gut acts as the second brain to let you know whether your physiology agrees with the psychology of your decisions. This can come in the form of a knot in your stomach, butterflies in your stomach or just discomfort; this is the body communicating your true emotion through your gut. So you just listen to it and feel what the gut is looking to communicate.